Remember.

And so, a single drop falls from my black lashes, traveling down the long thought processes of my face, as my eyes look towards the hope of heaven. I think of how I hate crying and of what an incredible day I've had, yet there's a part of me that I know I need to fix, and I have an idea of how to start, but this is going to be guess and check for a while.

I hate to see my friends hurt. I try not to use the word hate, ever really, because it's such an evil word I think. It brings so much animosity to the noun behind it and it's so unfair, because it's simply a matter of opinion. But when it comes to my friends and loved ones hurting, I am okay to allow the use of 'hate' in my vocabulary. Those feelings of sadness spread from the cancer of despair, tears, and deep breaths straight into my heart. I truly don't think there are many out there that understand how deep I care for others, and once I let you in, you're in there for good... sorry. I don't hate what made them sad, and I don't hate their reactions. I hate the fact that they are feeling this way, and I then try to figure out, with everything in my power to make them smile. Smiling is so powerful, as someone is teaching me. It truly changes your world.

You are beautiful, inside and out. I love seeing you smile and I love seeing you happy. I love seeing the beauty of this world inside of a person, because it's so rare. The pure goodness and softness of love in one's heart drives me wild. It burns within me, and I just hope I can ease someone's burdens. Because seeing that smile during the storm is the best inspiration I can find.

You can trust me.

Never fear.

I'm sorry for not being strong when I know I can be for myself. I trust you, but I need to feel safe in my surroundings before I trust the rest of the world. I know you have a lot on your plate right now. You don't have to tell me, but I will be your pillow. Let me help. I know I haven't been proving it to you, but I love you.

And so I leave this with you, my friend. These are my thoughts tonight: He seems distracted. It seems like there's something else on his mind that has him running around alone. He won't tell us or talk to us because he doesn't want to feel like a burden and not be strong enough to help us up like he knows we want him to. He's trying to stay afloat for the ones he loves, and he's trying oh so hard. But he's holding himself by a thread because he won't let us strengthen him. How can I not see that? Do I really have to be sitting in the dark under the protection of a down blanket to truly see who he is? Why aren't I able to realize this when he's standing right in front of me? If anyone needs to change, I do. He's trying. I need to be, too.

And so, I rest, secured by this down blanket and air soft pillow, dreaming of nothing but the love my Heavenly Father has for me. I rest, knowing that I am loved, that the ones I love are loved, and that the ones my loved ones love are loved. We are all protected and secure, we just need to remember.