Heartbroken in Oregon.

Sometimes the timing in life is really unfortunate. I'm sitting here in my bedroom outside of Scappoose, Oregon, in the pitch dark with the exception of the screen of my laptop. I have earphones playing a playlist I put together from back out in Idaho and I have dried tears under my eyes. I made the drive to Oregon today with my dad and Chelsie. We made the 12 hours drive in 11 hours, arriving in Scappoose at 4:30 PM PST. Earlier, on Thursday night, I had my final evening with Casey. I am so heartbroken. We talked for hours and when it finally came time to say goodbye, I just lost it. I couldn't let go, and I have this image in my head. I had to be the one to drive away (hardest thing I've ever had to do emotionally) and in the dark under the streetlights, I have this dark silhouette of Casey in my rearview mirror, slowly walking into the middle of the street staring plainly at me. I couldn't do anything except turn away and cry. He means so much to me, and all I want is to spend time with him. I have to be patient, though. He leaves for his mission this November for 2 years. I will only support him 100% during that time and if that means not being in his social life at the time, so be it. I just wish the timing was different.

Being home in Scappoose is really different. I had been in a LDS community for the past 5 months and now, coming back here especially seeing the high schoolers tonight, is just different. I miss Rexburg, and how friendly everyone is. I miss having an opening prayer to every event and class. I miss living with my best friends. I miss the crazy Idaho weather. I miss my home. I do love seeing my family, though. If only I could've brought part of Rexburg with me.