Joining the LDS lifestyle has been so wonderful in so many ways. I've made the closest friends I've had in a long time, as well as reinsured a few old friendships. I've been able to have a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father and gained the knowledge that there is a plan for me; I am on this timeline of a plan and I can't really do much about it except practice my agency. Spending 5 months out at school at BYU-Idaho, I have witnessed several couples go through the stages of like, love, engagements, and marriage. I could count about 15 different engagements within the last 3 months, just from people that I have met. As I grow older and watch my friends grow as well, many are considering marrying their significant other. Some are getting right to the point within a few weeks, others have talked about it and want to wait a year or so, but are set on the fact of marrying this certain person. Where does that leave me? I am dating the most wonderful guy I have ever met and I completely adore him, but he's a pre-missionary. I know how important this time in his life is and I am only going to support him 100% in his mission prep. I will become the friend he can rely on before he leaves. Friends have asked me if I am going to wait for him. From this day, it would be, at the soonest, 2 1/2 years until I saw him again after his mission. It's possible, but I have a lot to decide. I read a friend's blog today about time. I've never been a big fan of time, one because I am so impatient. I don't like fighting against the clock and running out of time to spend it with loved ones, to finish a homework project, to eat, to sleep. In her blog, she writes how time is able to change things - change people, change places, change things, even change love. Now, I don't know if time is able to change love... this is something I have been spending a lot of, well, time on (I just can't get away from it!). If you love someone, it's very hard to fall from that feeling, even if distance or lack of communication gets in the way. If anything happens to love after an amount of time, it would be doubt, or fear. Fear of love changing, when the only thing you're changing is your thought process. You decide whether you love someone or not. You decide whether you want to spend time with someone or not. You decide if you want to wait for someone or not. I am not guaranteed anything after he returns home if I decide to wait for my boy, but if I truly love him, isn't it worth a shot?
The LDS lifestyle is incredible, and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. But now I have to use my agency and choose prayerfully what I want to do in the next 2 1/2 - 3 years. I guess I'll keep you updated.
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