New

New.

That's the word that comes to mind when I think about 2011. 

Many things have happened within the past year. I won't bore you with details, but a few of the biggest things were I started over and I stood on my own two feet. I didn't depend on a friend. Rather, I was a friend. I thought I would go crazy being home alone, but rather made new friends and met new people in the form of small families. I learned how to wake surf and I'm actually okay at it. My best friend came home from his two year mission and we have become even stronger with the help of together. I started the vet tech program, was called into my relief society presidency, and played competitive soccer for the first time in a couple years. I was called on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I made some incredible new friends and met some incredible people that may or may not ever know what they've done for me. I went through the Portland temple. And, I finally found out I'm not alone.

Those are the big ones.

So, what am I going to do? I have been told to start anew and begin a new chapter in my life, by my own standards and desires. I have a set path and I need to make it beautiful. And so, I think back to what I wanted to do but never did. I want to voice my opinion more and let myself be heard. I want to know. I don't care what people think of me, but I do need to give myself more self-respect at times. I want to be the strongest missionary I can be and be faithful to my God. Even if tears fall often now, it's what will happen and I will be protected and provided for. I need to trust that even if I don't always see something, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I want to be the friend that I need. I want to always be there. Always is engraved on my heart. I want more of a work ethic. I want to excel in my studies of the gospel and be able to teach with the spirit with ease in order to be most effective and helpful. I want to take better care of my body. I want to create a name for myself. I want to be me, more than anything.

I only have 2 months of this year for myself. The rest is for God.

I am above this despair and sorrow. I am above disappointing those I love and being anything short of who I am and who I am going to become. So, here we go, 2011. 

We'll never be the same.