For the first time since I've been home, I can confidently say "I am happy".
Coming home was so difficult and I still struggle every once in awhile. Life is not meant to be easy. We make choices that bring joy, shame, sorrow, or questions. I finally decided to embrace what I have and hope for greater things to come.
These last couple days have been awesome, too. Tuesday I had my big lab midterm for anatomy and physiology and I had studied so hard for it. I got a 99%!! I was so stoked! I've been happier and in turn am treating people better (yay!). Had an ultimate frisbee game and dominated. Making new friends. Went to the temple. Jeans that used to fit tightly fit better now. Life is so good.
One thing that has really been a major blessing in my life is the chance to magnify my calling. I still need to figure out a service project for the relief society (any ideas anyone?) and get to know the girls more, but it seems like Heavenly Father has put people in my path for me to learn from and to serve. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I love feeling like this. I love having hope and optimism. I love my major. I love life's mercies. I love that Dove Lewis Hospital is willing to take me for my internship this spring. I love that my parents are my friends. I love that I have a job and that I'm super stressed from being so busy. I LOVE IT.
I guess this is a post about how grateful I am. And one thing that has me really going is that blessing that I can still see the Lord's hand in my life on a daily basis. Nothing better.
We had a devotional the other day and Elder Koeliker from the 1st Quorum of the 70 came to speak to us. He spoke about change. And what I thought was so great was how he presented change. He taught that when one learns something, a permanent change comes about. And what hit me was this thought from the Holy Ghost as he spoke: "We must always be changing to be learning anything". That's where the gift of agency comes in and how we have to actively use our agency to change... to learn. Ponder, search, read, pray, act, open our scriptures, talk to that person, smile when we hurt. Elder Koelliker showed a video from one of his assignments in Africa about a bunch of people traveling 15 hours by bus to be blessed by temple ordinances for the first time. The joy on their face was indescribable. I wept as I watched that video because it was so true. The temple is what matters. Some people even here on this BYU campus don't get it. But through prayers and actions Heavenly Father has blessed me with people to serve and share my testimony with. I know the Savior lives. I know the Holy Ghost is abundant as we do the right thing.
Just remember how beautiful life is and embrace what's in front of you. I can promise you there's joy to be found.