The Call

"I am going to need someone to walk me through this."

"I am here for any and all questions. I've got everything you'll need."

"Oh good, that really is comforting to hear"

"I will make time in December and we will go through it all."

The weather was horrid really, and the text telling me my call had arrived and was laying on my bed was not helping my anxiousness to return and finish school. Blanket across my folded legs, arms resting on someone else's pillow, and phone lit up in hand, I turn to the driver and can see she's exhausted. We still had a couple hours to go and who know if we were going to get a break from the snow and ice.

"Pull over at the next exit. You're exhausted, you need to call Dylan*, and you've been driving for hours now."

Without a fight, a sweet "okay" followed and next thing I knew I was in the driver's seat.

After a long series of events I'm thinking to myself how I'm going to go about doing this. Do I want dozens of people there or just the important ones? Do I kick out my roommates? Do I even want to open it tonight? With no sleep from the heart to heart the previous night and a 14 hour drive behind me, I was a little worn out. The thought kept going through my head about the families at home that were so curious. Their eyes were supporting my every emotion and it was then that I realized how sacred this calling was going to be. Whether or not I was ready, it was here.

The big white envelop was looking at me as I entered my room. Even though there were screams of excitement in the other room for me, my world seemed silent. There was no one else except that big white envelop, and myself. I approached it, and saw the name I would go by for eighteen months of my life. I couldn't help but force a grin; It was exciting. 

I brought the big white envelop out to the dining table and set up my laptop. One group of loved ones would see me via the internet, and one pair of parents would hear it from speaker phone. The guests within the apartment seemed to have other priorities for while they were excited, it wasn't enough to take time away from building crushes and self-esteem to support my next move.

"Are you guys ready?"

Suddenly the eight or so peers flocked around my laptop as I sat in front of it, able to see home. The cell phone was most vital and I kept asking over and over if they could hear. Finally, after everyone fell silent, I had no choice but to tear it open.

This wave came over me for just a split second, to where I as nervous. The kind of nervous that stops you from doing something because you're afraid of the repercussions. Feelings and thoughts came to me that were negative and fearful. What if they send me somewhere I am not affective? What if I can't help others? What if I don't leave for several months? What if I leave too soon before I can fix relationships? Fortunately for me, the dozens of eyes sort of pressured me into doing it.

The big white envelop had not chance as my thumb ripped the seal. I hesitated for a moment, just to take a deep breath before pulling out the single piece of paper that would change my life. I thought about how I would present what I would soon read. Do I cover the location with my hand so it's a surprise for everyone? That would be fair, but my body acted before my mind could decide, and a little voice from behind me said, "Aw, you looked at it!"

You are hereby called to serve in the...

"Thank you for everything, it really means the world to me. I'll see you soon."

"See you later, baby."

"Love you, goodnight."

"Love you, bye"